[Feeling]: So fkn TIRED [Status]: Yawning... and its not 10!! [Music]: We Can Go by J-Shin [Time]: 0943
Help me. Sleep deprived. Eyes burning... hahahaha... ahhh shiet.. T_T Sooo what's been happening? Hmmm I've been going to the library the last couple of days, got some work done I spose - have my essay done for this Friday. *SIGH* First official HSC exam. Scared/excited/worried. Whatever. It's just another exam right? =)
Alls good I spose, gotta wish good ol' Chris and John a very Happy Birthday. Hope you guys have a blast this weekend - don't get too screwed over. Wish you all the best, good luck for the following year... hehehe you are now a year closer to death.
Anyway, today wasn't the most productive of days, and I really shouldn't blog, but w/e - I don't seem to care much anymore. *shrugs* I think I shall adopt this attitude, Kate seems to do it quite well... and I'm not trying to sound sarcastic. It really does save some time/energy - the "fuck it/whatever" kinda attitude. There have been certain things that have been brought up by some people that I just cbf dealing with anymore ... well at least not till the 10th of Nov. I don't want to preocupy my mind with a whole lot of unecessary crap. *tosses 'em out the window* There. Done.
I wanna wish you all the best of luck. Some people start tomorrow, other's on Friday... the dreaded ENGLISH! DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!! *spaz* hahahah we'll live, don't worry. And don't forget - the 10th will be the happiest days of our lives up to date. Where we can literally DO NOTHING for the next few months... although aparantly I'm getting a job at Glory with mum... hehehe cool. Easy money. =3
At times I just don't know who to trust. there's always the handful of people that I know I can go to if I ever need them. but do they know who they are? I don't think so. I wonder why? I know. It's because I don't confide in them as much as I used to. That's true. However, in saying that it doesn't mean I don't trust you. I've just learned throughout the past weeks, to just stfu more often. And yes I know I've been keeping certain things from you, and I'm sorry that you had to find out via other means, I just honestly didn't know how to bring it up with you sometimes. I'm not blaiming anyone. It just means we gotta reconnect the bonds that have been weakened. Friendships have ups and downs, miscommunications - everything. Friendships need to be maintained... if there are cracks in the concrete we gotta fix it together. Both parties need to make the effort.
And yes I know I've been a bitch and doing certain people injustice. selfishness really. I have no one but myself to blame. I've attempted to make ammends, I hope things will work out soon enough, I hope that they and I are able to take the things we've said to each other, on board. That's all I can ask of people right now. I've realised, and been told many times how opinionated I am. I thought I broke away from that, but aparantly not. So I will try again once more. I will try to support others the way they deserve to be supported, I won't let my own emotions cloud the advice I give others - hopefully, I won't just start ranting about what I think is best for them, and actually ask them what they think is best.
I hope from now on, I can learn to keep my mouth shut. And know when I am not wanted or needed - which is fine. At times, here are only certain people out there who are able to help us, and I've learnt to accept that. It's ok, that even though you are my closest friends, that sometimes there are things that don't need to be said to me. I hope you think the same regarding the ways I've treated you at times, and as to I don't seem to confide in you anymore. yes I know it hurts that at times we're not always at the top of the list... no one likes to be second best. but that's life. friendships are like that too.
i hope that i won't assume things I know nothing about - and form my thoughts and opinions around those assumptions. too many events in the past have taught me that assuming something is the worst thing one can do... and I know i've been telling alot of people this. I'm just disaapointed that I'm unable to follow my own advice. and for such reasons, yes i am a hypocrite.
Sometimes I don't know who to trust. everyone has their own views regarding a certain situation. If i was not present at that event, who's word should i trust? ultimately, we're all biased when we try to recount events. we try as hard as we can not to be. but to some degree - we are. and we're all liars. hah, the one huge thing that HOUSE keeps presenting to us all... we all... fucking LIE to one another. to our friends, to our family, even to god. Yet who are we to deceive? if we know that we are lying, what's the point? are we not simply lying to ourselves anyway? and yet sometimes it seems as though lying is the only way - actually scratch that, you can ALWAYS tell the truth - but we lie 'cause sometimes it's easier. and yes, we think life is so tough anyway, one lie won't hurt. yet when those lies are uncovered - shit happens. even if you tell the truth, it's bound to spread from one person to another and it then becomes a lie - some sort or other, because whatever is being passed around now has that certain "biased" factor to it. *shrugs* which is why i'll try and keep my mouth shut more often. if there is no truth, no lies to spread, then hopefully there will be nothing to pass on but people's assumptions.
Mmmm I haven't done this in a while. re-evaluate the things that have been happening. I need to write it down 'cause it separates the thoughts that are running through my head like a bowl of noodles - mostly for my sake. if u've read it all, good for you. try not to judge me. and PLEASE, dont call me a fucking emo. I'm just thinking. and yes, probably thinking to much for my own good, but fuck it, i haven't done this in a while, and it feels nice to let some stuff out.
there's so many things in my head - but i really cbf typing it all down.
[Feeling]: =D [Status]: Chatting/Myspace-ing [Music]: Sexy Love by Ne-Yo [Time]: 1123
OMG NEW BABY COUSIN!!! *sqquueeeaalllls* At 7:30am this morning he was brought to the world, crying his lil heart out. =) Lil Jeremy Hanzel <insert last name> ... hahahah... we visited my aunty tonight, and he kept yawning! Was adorable... and when he cried, someone would just have to touch his cheek and he'll quieten down. =)
Welcome to the world Lil Jeremy. Awwww he ish SOOO CUTE! *hugs*
[Feeling]: Tired/Awake/idk [Status]: Tweaking my MySpace [Music]: na [Time]: 1154
Omg I gave into temptation and the peer pressure. I now have my own MySpace. Just when I thought I got over one obession - ie. Warcraft - I find another thing to distract me. *feints* Yea click the daym link below, if you can read this - add me. Kthanksbye.
Heh... moving on... =.= Went to the library yesterday and today. Feel such a great sense of achievement, even though I probably could have done more if I just concentrated.
Went to Waverley Library yesterday with Lara and Jord... yea ok with companions like this, sif I was gonna get any work done! Like seriously?! None the less, got some Ancient notes all typed out and stuff... =] Good times.
And then today, trecked it to UNSW library to meet up with Jacky and Chrissy. *nods* Quieter = got more work done. Left at around 530, so yea.. alls good really. Unfortunately, I wore my really crappy uncomfy shoes...icky!! >_< Fkn blisters.
Besides all that... Mmm... I dunno, the house is in a very... unsettling mood... =/ For some reason my dad's not really talking muh these days... Hope everything will be alright soon enough.
[Feeling]: In hysterics [Status]: ROFL!! [Music]: -- [Time]: 1134
HAHAHAHH! I swear, I love laughing at the idiot journalists on A Current Affair who think they know what they're saying. Earlier tonight, they did a show on WOW. Wonderful. I saw it on Youtube (god I love that site!) - and I swear, the amount of crap that ACA presents to clueless parents is just... fkn...FUNNY....
Oh god... just watch the amount of bullshit they put... XD And the comments are just hilarious. The ppl who comment actually know what they're talking about, and the fact that this kid aparantly plays for 16 hours a day... and yet he has all the crappy gear means that he is a stupid n00b. =)
Teehee... and one thing ACA forgot to mention is that WOW is a subcribed game -- erm, if the kid doesn't have a job, or goes to school - who on earth pays for the subscription? And the internet connection? Hmmm? *glares at mum* Bahhaha... and I especially loved it when the mother cried. BUAHAHAH... what an IDIOT. Just stop paying for the subscription, or unplug the net you dumb woman. xD
Shows like ACA just make my day... honestly... and it's so dumb, because both ACA and Today Tonight are aiming their stories at the uneducated peeps who just have no idea wth is going on, and therefore accept the shit stories they put as "fact". It's wonderful really.
Oh the icing on the cake was definately when they got this "physcologist" in to talk... like wtf? She sounded retarted herself. Don't think she has any idea what she's talking about... sif trust someone like her? Scratch that - sif trust ACA?
And as happinin said: " This is why i hate A current affair. WoW here is advertised as a violent game, and a lethal drug and when parents see this dropkick, they are immediately brainwashed because of one scoundrel dropkick kid, and we have to cop it.
GG ACA - give more false information to clueless parents imo, they dont know shit about computers so they will listen, its not the game its the idiots who play it and cant balance their own lifestyle"
Bravo. Ahhh... I love Warcraft, really I do. I mean the game is fkn addictive - but that's what so awesome about it. =) There's such a great sense of achievement after one has defeated another... *sighs* Ok - so it has leeched a few of my friends of their souls, it's all good. Once they run out of money; and reality and their senses kick in, they'll be back to the real world - as oppose to the World of Warcraft.
I gotta say... ACA and TT just make me laugh. At least they're good for something.
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